


Too Bad You Love Me

by doodlelester



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Blood, M/M, Minor Character Death, Murder, Phan - Freeform, Phan Angst, Phanfiction, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-08-31 09:12:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8572657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doodlelester/pseuds/doodlelester
Summary: After a relationship gone wrong, Dan Howell seeks revenge, and it’s going to be bloody





	1. The Trailer

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: @dansomniac  
> Hope you enjoy!^^
> 
> Also found on tumblr on @doodlelester

It started a few years ago, and I was totally fine. Until now. 

A few years ago, on my 18th birthday, I came out to my extremely religious parents as bisexual and they didn’t accept me. That’s not my problem. After literally being disowned, I was out on the streets and didn’t have a job. Still, that’s not my problem. After all the trials life threw at me, I stood tall and tried to keep happy. But it got harder.

I got my first boyfriend, Jack, when I was 20.Tall, tan, and charming was all he had to offer, and was all I needed. I was thrilled that I finally got to be myself and prove to the world that there was nothing wrong with me or my sexuality. That’s where my problem started. I thought ‘Lucky me! I have someone who loves and cares for me.’ I was so naive. Unfortunately, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

He got distant after a few months, spending less and less time with me. Mentally, he was never really with me. And I got anxious.

After a long day of work, I went to his apartment as a random surprise. Who doesn’t love a surprise from their boyfriend of 6 months? You know, watch a few movies, order pizza, maybe some other stuff. Needless to say, I was excited to see who I thought was the love of my life. I knocked, to be polite of course, and didn’t get an answer. Perplexed, I pulled the keys from under the doormat and worked the door open. “ Hello?”

Meandering around the house, I thought I heard the sound of banging against the wall. Cautiously, I took a knife from one of the kitchen drawers, holding it firmly from the handle. I don’t remember much. Jack, another guy, in bed, and their surprised, guilty faces.

Even their screams were muted, as my blade went in and out. Covered in blood, I felt glorious, powerful almost. No trace of remorse followed as I hid the bodies and cleaned the evidence of the crime they and I had committed.

I’m Dan Howell and I murder people. No, it’s much more meaningful than that. I’m Dan Howell and I murder boys who love me.


	2. The Victim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta: @dansomniac
> 
> Author Notes: Thank you for the support. I actually wrote this one after I posted the other one so the wait for chapters won't be too long^^
> 
> (also found on tumblr @doodlelester)

12:20 p.m.

 

"Ugh", I moaned, annoyed. Waking up before 10 am was not my forte. 

 

Pulling myself out of bed, I recollected yesterday's events. Breakfast, work, date and best of all, the murder. His name was Tyler. Tyler was short, fit, naive and attracted to me. Perfect. 

 

A smile came across my face as I remembered it was garbage day. I watched as the loud, obnoxious truck took my- or what was my date- in with the rest of the trash. 

 

Too tired from last night's labour to make my own food, I went to the nearest Starbucks. Walking fast through the cold November air, I finally got to the entrance. 

The smell of caffeine welcomed me as I stood in line. My mind wandered around the shop, taking in the amount of people around me. 

 

Tyler was not my first and certainly wouldn't be my last. I've been doing this for 5 years and still haven't felt a single thing, and most importantly, I haven’t been caught. If anything it's pure fun. I won't deny that i'm not entirely sane but I get by. Considering what dating site I would use to get my next kill, I was suddenly front of the line. Quickly I ordered my drink and stood off to the side. 

 

I was met with piercing celestial eyes, hair darker than my sins, and skin paler than I left my victims. He was almost my height which was rare and had a perpetual smile on his face. 

 

"Chai tea with two sugars for Dan?" His voice deep and smooth. My eyes were wide and I just stood there for a few seconds, slowly realizing the situation. "Th - that's me," I stuttered raising my hand. "Here you go, Dan," the stranger said with a wink. My heart skipped half a beat, but I smiled and took my tea. 

 

Leaving the shop, I was deep in thought. 'A wink?' As I considered the interaction, I started to grin. I'd found my next victim.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta: @dansomniac  
> Also found on tumblr @doodleleser

For three damn weeks, I kept going to that coffee shop. I’ve never worked this hard for a kill.

‘I should just leave it,’ I thought restlessly, losing all hope of ever killing the stranger with the blue eyes. ‘No. There’s something about that barista that I can’t shake. He invades my thoughts all the time with his beautiful smile, his disheveled yet perfect hair, cheekbones as sharp as knives, even his cute little uniform that always has that little coffee stain,’ I smile, without meaning to but I catch myself quickly. ‘What are you doing, Dan! You can’t get hung up on little things like that! And he’s not even that good looking for God’s sake!’

I slipped on a jacket and headed out the door, finally making a decision about my coffee boy dilemma. As I stood in line, I thought about what to say.‘Hi, my name is Dan. Would you like to go out sometime? No, no, no, too simple. Hi, my name’s Dan. You’ve probably seen me arou- ugh what is wrong with me?’

Pick-ups were a skill I had mastered over the last few years and I’ll be damned if it went to waste. 

The line moved too quickly and I was stuck at the front of it, once again, without anything to say.

“Hi, Dan! The usual?” He said happily with a blinding smile. “Uhhh, y-yes please,” I stammered. ‘For fuck’s sake Dan! What the bloody hell are you doing?!’ I had to physically restrain myself from putting my face in my hands. “Coming right up!” he said enthusiastically, as he had before.

Waiting for my drink, I’d accepted my failure and was silently sulking.

My name’s Phil,” I’d heard a voice say in my direction. It sounded familiar. “Wha- Pardon? I managed to choke out. “Phil. You’ve been coming here for almost a month, so I thought you should know.” It was him. The infamous stranger that I had been so patient with. My confidence had returned. 

“So the man has a name,” I chuckle, “Hopefully he doesn’t have a boyfriend though?” Phil laughed and for some reason, my stomach felt funny. “No. But maybe you could change that.” ‘He’s taking the bait!’ I thought excitedly. “We’ll see,” I said with a smirk. 

‘Finally, Dan Howell is back! And better than ever.’


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the longest chapter so far! Hope you don't mind!^^  
> Also found on tumblr @doodlelester

I had asked him to go see a movie, “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.” Simple,I know, but I don’t like to rush these things. Especially when I’ve waited this long. The plan was simple;meet him at the cinema, go to the film, go back to my flat and then the simplest part, the kill. A simple black skinny jeans, black shirt and leather jacket combo would do the trick. I had cleaned the flat for five hours making sure everything was in its perfect place. Hey, I’m a murderer, not a pig. Presentation, to me, is everything. 

The movie started at 7:00 and 6:30 was approaching. Giving the apartment a good look over, I was on my way. I went over my schedule over and over in my head. This night was to go without a hitch, they usually had, but Phil was more difficult for me, and I don't know why. Throwing those thoughts out of my head, my destination was near, and I couldn’t afford to look or be nervous. 

6:45 pm  
I’m early and I’ve already bought our tickets

6:55 pm  
5 minutes to go. He should be here soon.

7:00 pm  
Where is he? And why am I so nervous? At least they have adverts before the movie starts.

Finally at 7:03 he arrives, looking red and exhausted. “Sorry I’m late,” He shouted apologetically. “The bus picked up a whole bunch of people, slowing down my ride.” His cheeks were red and I could see a small hint of sweat on his brow. He must’ve run here from the bus stop. “S’okay,”I said quietly, “I’ve already bought our tickets if you’re ready to go.” “Sounds great!” 

The adverts had just finished as we slid past many annoyed people to get to our seats. The theatre lights slowly dimmed and the feature presentation started. I paid close attention to the movie, but couldn’t help but be distracted by Phil. He was wearing a blue and green plaid shirt with a pair of simple black skinny jeans, similar to what I was wearing.When the movie started he was fully engaged in what he was watching. Never for a second did he take his eyes off the screen. His eyes were wide in attention, and I could see him taking the movie in. He smiled every now and then, but the adventure, I could see, captivated him wholly.

By the end of the film he applauded loudly and I couldn’t help but grin. I clapped with the rest of the crowd and, following Phil’s lead, exited the theatre.

“Amazing wasn’t it!” He was smiling wide, ecstatic and thrilled at what he’d just seen. “Thank you for taking me,” My body froze and my throat became dry for a few seconds. “No problem”, I returned, trying to regain my cool. ‘He’s right there. No better time to take him home and finish with him.’ My thoughts went wild and I attempted to take control of them. “So mine or yours?” He said with a smile. ‘That was my line!’ my mind was out of control so I said the first thing that came to mind.  
“Yours.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing really happens in this chapter because it's sort of setting up the next chapter sorry! But I appreciate your support!

What. The. Hell. Did. I. Just. Say?

My victims always go to my flat! It’s so much easier that way! I have all of my equipment under my bed and now I only have chances of a lousy kitchen knife.

“Great! I can order pizza since you paid for the movie!”,His excitement sickened me. This kill will have to wait a little longer I guess. You're lucky, Phil.

I hailed a cab and Phil told the driver the address.

The ride was silent and the atmosphere was tense. “What house are you?” ,He said suddenly. “Huh?” ‘What could he possibly be talking about?’ “Y’know, Hogwarts? Slytherin, Ravenclaw-” “Yeah, yeah,” I interrupted. “Gryffindor.” I said simply. “Really? I thought you'd be Slytherin.” That took me by surprise. “How do you figure?” I was truly curious. “Just the way you carry yourself, I guess. You seem cunning and look smart enough so it was my first assumption.”

‘He figured that out by himself? Why would he take the time to analyze me in such a way?’ “ Okay. What house are you then?” I challenged. He turned bright red before saying, “Hufflepuff.” His answer didn't surprise me too much, but I still laughed. Rather hard in fact.

“You're a Hufflepuff?” I was laughing even harder now. “Oi, it's a very respectable house.” he stated, defensively. “You're right. I'll stop.” I promised, between laughs.

Shortly after my fit, the cab pulled up in front of a bunch of buildings. “Right this way” he led me through big double doors. “5th floor, Dan.” “Where's the elevator?” I inquired, not seeing any signs of one. Phil chuckled and motioned towards the stairs. “You're kidding, right? I'm not walking five fucking flights of stairs, Phil.” “Guess you're staying down here then.” he smiled. I rolled my eyes and trudged behind him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh sorry it's been so long! Ill try to update more often :)))

As soon as he unlocked the door to his flat, I collapsed against my will.

 

“Tired, huh?” He was smirking, and I wanted to wrap my hands around his neck. To restrict his breathing.

 

I smiled. “I guess.”

 

Phil stared at me for a few seconds, almost as if he was scanning me. I shifted uncomfortably. 

 

“Pizza!” he screeched all of a sudden. I was so startled that I banged my shin on the coffee table in front of me. He didn't seem to notice.

 

“What kind do you want?” I blinked a few times trying to understand what he was saying. I was distracted for some reason. I couldn't put my finger on it.

 

“Any kind is fine with me.” I looked down at my hands.

 

“You're quiet again. Is there something wrong?” He had put the phone down and was approaching the couch.

 

I slid over to make room for Phil. “Just a bit nervous, I guess.” 

 

I had been honest. Why?

 

Phil chuckled. “ No worries, Danny. I'm not a murderer. Calm down.”

 

My eyes widened ever so slightly at his choice of words. I laughed nervously. 

 

“Of course you wouldn't be a murderer. You're too nice and you're flat’s a lot messier than a normal murderer’s.”

 

‘ _Shit. Why am I giving away so much info? Change the subject, Dan.’_

 

But it was too late.

 

“What do you mean _‘Too Nice_.’ I could be meaner than the coffee I make if I wanted to be.”

 

“Oh yeah, Phil. What a bully you could be. Someone as clumsy as you would never make it in the assassin industry.” 

 

“I would so. Watch. I could kidnap you now and no one would ever know.”

 

My brows furrowed. “Hu-” I was cut off by Phil’s hands on my stomach, tickling me, mercilessly. 

 

I could feel myself turning red, as well as my lack of breath.But suddenly, the tickling stopped.

 

My relief was short lived as I felt two strong arms around my waist. I was draped over Phil’s shoulder. 

 

“Told you! I could totally take you down.” He was chuckling as he ran around, carrying me around his apartment.

 

“PHIL PUT ME DOWN!” 

 

I was dropped onto a soft surface. His bed.

 

I analyzed my surroundings. Loads of anime plush toys and knick knacks lined the walls. I recognized every reference. 

 

“Oops. I meant to clean these things off the walls.” He was stepping side to side, looking sheepish.

 

“No, it's fine.” I pointed to a big white and grey stuffed figure on one of the shelves. “Is that Totoro?”

 

His face exploded into a grin. “Yeah it is.” I got up and surveyed the rest of the shelves, impressed by all of the things he had collected.

 

“Your collection is amazing! How long did this take?” I gestured toward his walls.

 

Instead of answering my questions , He smiled. “Did you want to stay the night? Get a closer look?”

 

My mouth dropped open, but I quickly caught myself. “Um, I have work in the morning. Sorry.” 

 

Phil looked at the ground, disappointed. “It's okay. Maybe next time?”

 

“Of course. But I need your number first.” 

 

We exchanged numbers and he walked me towards the door. 

 

Honestly, maybe I didn't have to kill Phil. I could just overlook it this one time and live happily with an actual friend that shares my interests and a stable life. If I could just let this victim go...

 

“Goodnight, Danny.” He said lazily, leaning against the doorframe.

 

“Don't call me that. Goodnight Phil.” I turned my back and heard the door shut. 

 

I was fighting with myself. A battle I knew would not end well.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowy I haven't updated in a while. I'm really sorry!! I'm going to update soon after this because this chapter leads right into the next one (that's why this one is so short)^^

Two days passed before Phil texted me.

 

_‘I really hope you didn't give me a fake number, Dan.’_

_‘Haha don't worry. Why would I ever pass up an opportunity to talk to someone as nerdy as you, Phil?’_

 

He replied quickly. That was something I could get used to.

 

_‘You loved my collection, don't even lie.’_

 

I laughed.  
_‘Yeah. Totally jealous.’_

_‘I can hear your sarcasm through the screen. As long as you don't steal from my precious collection haha.’_

_‘If you come over to mine, that wouldn't be a problem.’_

 

I considered putting a winky face at the end, but decided against it. We weren't that serious.Maybe I never wanted to be that serious. Did I still want to kill Phil? Half of me said yes and the other half was unsure.

 

_‘Sounds good. Text me the details and I’ll get back to you after work :)’_

_‘6:30 tomorrow I'll pick you up at your apartment. It'll be a surprise. Dress casually, but not too casually.’_

 

This time, cleaning my apartment wouldn't go to waste. I picked out my outfit in advance- I know, eager- a plain white button up shirt with a moth pattern on it and classic black skinnies.

 

I decided I wouldn't kill Phil until I was completely sure about my decision. My outfit choice was safe from blood or any other dangers. This date was to test the waters before the real deal. In the mean time, I lounged around, waiting for Phil to reply.

 

_‘wow so forward. Sounds great!’_


End file.
